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As the phoenix . . .

How shall I, then, begin? I have been gone a long time, and now I'm back, I hope. I might as well charge right in.

My mother died on February 25, 2018 of Alzheimers dementia. She had been living with me, under my care, since December of 2012, although she had been exhibiting troubling symptoms for almost twenty years, now that I know what I was looking at. It was a hard journey the entire way, and you can probably trace the progression by the dropoff and cessation of my writing and socialization. The final three months, on home hospice, were especially grueling. But she got to die in her own bed, with her cst curoed against her. I was there to hear here final breath, which makes it all worth it, I guess.

People in the Alzheimers/Dementia world say that a caretaker of a dementia patient will lose hald their cognitive function from the stress. I don't know about that -- how would I, because I'd be the last to know? I do know that I lost my joy and my creativity.

Will I ever write again? I hope so, but I have a lot of healing to do.

Comments

randy_o
Apr. 4th, 2018 04:11 pm (UTC)
Yes, it was very hard, but you have some experience in this area too. I was worried at first for my mother's cat, who seemed bereft, but she is slowly becoming our cat. She's on the bed beside me as I type.

How is your girl, Smokie?
lexin
Apr. 5th, 2018 12:23 pm (UTC)
Cuddles for the kitty!

Smokey is very well, thank you. As I type this she is on the living room window sill looking out at birds. I think she’d be a good hunter if she went out. That she is a house cat is a good thing for the local wildlife.

Yes, I have experience of caring for sick relatives, my mum was ill for a long time. I didn’t live with her, but I visited every three weeks for several years. It was hard going, and I have huge respect for anyone who can do it full time as you did.