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As the phoenix . . .

How shall I, then, begin? I have been gone a long time, and now I'm back, I hope. I might as well charge right in.

My mother died on February 25, 2018 of Alzheimers dementia. She had been living with me, under my care, since December of 2012, although she had been exhibiting troubling symptoms for almost twenty years, now that I know what I was looking at. It was a hard journey the entire way, and you can probably trace the progression by the dropoff and cessation of my writing and socialization. The final three months, on home hospice, were especially grueling. But she got to die in her own bed, with her cst curoed against her. I was there to hear here final breath, which makes it all worth it, I guess.

People in the Alzheimers/Dementia world say that a caretaker of a dementia patient will lose hald their cognitive function from the stress. I don't know about that -- how would I, because I'd be the last to know? I do know that I lost my joy and my creativity.

Will I ever write again? I hope so, but I have a lot of healing to do.

Comments

clodia_metelli
Apr. 1st, 2018 02:21 pm (UTC)

I am so sorry, Randy. My grandmother has dementia and it's a terrible way to go. My sincere condolences. I hope the writing flows back sooner rather than later.

randy_o
Apr. 1st, 2018 04:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Clodia. I wish your grandmother an easier journey than my mother had. Often some other natural illness intervenes, but the people on my mother's side of the family are tough and long-lived. Ultimately, she ate less and less, which is the body taking its own way out. For the most part, our hospice team was on board, and we didn't fight it. But my mom was difficult to deal with until she hit that final stage.

You and your family might want to check out Alzheimers.org. They have a caregivers'support board that was a lot of support to me in the last five years. Surprisingly, doctors often know very little about the day to day challenges a caregiver will face.