How shall I, then, begin? I have been gone a long time, and now I'm back, I hope. I might as well charge right in.
My mother died on February 25, 2018 of Alzheimers dementia. She had been living with me, under my care, since December of 2012, although she had been exhibiting troubling symptoms for almost twenty years, now that I know what I was looking at. It was a hard journey the entire way, and you can probably trace the progression by the dropoff and cessation of my writing and socialization. The final three months, on home hospice, were especially grueling. But she got to die in her own bed, with her cst curoed against her. I was there to hear here final breath, which makes it all worth it, I guess.
People in the Alzheimers/Dementia world say that a caretaker of a dementia patient will lose hald their cognitive function from the stress. I don't know about that -- how would I, because I'd be the last to know? I do know that I lost my joy and my creativity.
Will I ever write again? I hope so, but I have a lot of healing to do.
My mother died on February 25, 2018 of Alzheimers dementia. She had been living with me, under my care, since December of 2012, although she had been exhibiting troubling symptoms for almost twenty years, now that I know what I was looking at. It was a hard journey the entire way, and you can probably trace the progression by the dropoff and cessation of my writing and socialization. The final three months, on home hospice, were especially grueling. But she got to die in her own bed, with her cst curoed against her. I was there to hear here final breath, which makes it all worth it, I guess.
People in the Alzheimers/Dementia world say that a caretaker of a dementia patient will lose hald their cognitive function from the stress. I don't know about that -- how would I, because I'd be the last to know? I do know that I lost my joy and my creativity.
Will I ever write again? I hope so, but I have a lot of healing to do.
Comments
I am so sorry, Randy. My grandmother has dementia and it's a terrible way to go. My sincere condolences. I hope the writing flows back sooner rather than later.
You and your family might want to check out Alzheimers.org. They have a caregivers'support board that was a lot of support to me in the last five years. Surprisingly, doctors often know very little about the day to day challenges a caregiver will face.
I was there to hear here final breath, which makes it all worth it, I guess.
I think it does.
Will I ever write again? I hope so, but I have a lot of healing to do.
Exactly. You've been through a hell of a lot. My mother's decline affected me, but your case is astronomically amplified. Dementia is such an awful, awful disease.
I think you'll write again. I think I'll write again. But it's gonna take time.
Hey, I was actually thinking about Randy and Saunders the other day while I was driving into work! My route takes me past a house in Brookline that I have fan-casted for Saunders' home, so that prompted a little scene of the pending holiday party that Saunders is throwing and to which Randy has been invited. No words written, of course, but the Dark Muse is still there, just very preoccupied by prodding me along in my career. He and I still visit Middle-earth now and then. :^)
About Aaron and Saunders, I had a blast of inspiration a few months ago after taking a Xanax. I know what Aaron wants from Saunders, enough to overcome the past. I knew you were hammered with work at the time, and I was plain hammered by life, but things lok like they might be changing for both of us. Will be in touch, if only to set the idea in your head.
About Aaron and Saunders, I had a blast of inspiration a few months ago after taking a Xanax. I know what Aaron wants from Saunders, enough to overcome the past. I knew you were hammered with work at the time, and I was plain hammered by life, but things lok like they might be changing for both of us. Will be in touch, if only to set the idea in your head.
Inspiration via Xanax! Better living through chemistry, that's my motto! I'd love to hear about that blast!
Edited at 2018-04-02 12:39 am (UTC)
If you need to talk, you know how to find me - and I'm not averse to phone conversations, if you think that would help more. If you want, PM me and I'll give you my number.
I mean it. I'm a shoulder to lean on, or cry on if you need one - and I'm kinda on the "outside", so I have no biases or preconceptions to set aside. The same offer you made to me "back when" applies here in reverse.
Great Big {{{{{{{HUG}}}}}
Edited at 2018-04-03 03:51 am (UTC)
I’m sorry to hear about your mother, that must have been hard. My deepest condolences.
How is your girl, Smokie?
Smokey is very well, thank you. As I type this she is on the living room window sill looking out at birds. I think she’d be a good hunter if she went out. That she is a house cat is a good thing for the local wildlife.
Yes, I have experience of caring for sick relatives, my mum was ill for a long time. I didn’t live with her, but I visited every three weeks for several years. It was hard going, and I have huge respect for anyone who can do it full time as you did.