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Summary: When Elrond is short a courtesan for the fifteen year exchange, what will he do? Pimp out his daughter -- that's what! This one is for the ladies!: Parody, D/s, SI, slash, anal, bdsm, f/f, m/f, m/f/m, solo and general bad taste. NC-17
Introduction: Please Read First

Nine and a Half Weeks in Mirkwood
By Acharn Lend

Disclaimer: Not my garden. I just play in it, so I think I'll go take a leak in the bird bath.

Part Three: Manipulation

Arwen Undomiel lay on a green bank in the gardens of Rivendell humming to herself. Life was good and all was well with Arda. She heard footfalls upon the lawn and looked up.

"Hail, Morie. How are you this fine day?"

"I am well my Lady Undomiel." She sighed. " I have only a few day left to enjoy the beauties of Imladris."

"Ah yes. The exchange comes and you go home to Lorien. You must be glad."

"I suppose. This has been a grand adventure. Yet, I shall miss it."

"Miss waiting on us at table, pampering us in the bath, and getting diddled endlessly by my brothers? You call that an adventure?"

Morie sat down upon the grass next to Arwen and laid her head in the lady's lap. "It had its advantages. No adventure is without its challenges." Morie's head moved upward until it was breathing soft breath into Arwen's cleavage.

"Think of all I am to you," she continued, opening the laces of Elrond's daughter's bodice with her teeth and slipping her hand beneath her skirt below. "I am lover, confidant, healer." She moved her hand upward toward Arwen's thigh and whispered, "How many others could claim such?"

"Every other courtesan who has been through here," said Arwen. "But what shall we do without you dear Morie?" She relaxed as Morie's hand snaked higher up her skirt until it found her crotch.

"I will be well," Morie said. "It is Firiel for whom I fear. She loves your lord father so dearly that I fear she will fade if separated from him." Her skilled hand delved between Arwen's legs, moving higher and higher toward her pleasure spot. Up north, she nuzzled into Arwen's exposed cleavage and found a tender rosebud nipple to nip and suck.

"But what about the grand adventure?" Arwen asked breathlessly. Morie's hand had found the tender bud of her womanly pleasure and was busy stroking. She lay back on the grass and focused on the delicious sensation.

"I fear that Firiel is more fragile than we know, " Morie said sadly. "Can we risk sending her into a fade?"

"Please, Morie, speak no more," Arwen said as she relaxed into the pleasurable stimulation of Morie's skilled fingers.

When at last the Peredhel princess lay gasping upon the grass, Morie said, "What other elf can have the freedom of what we just did?"

Arwen laughed. "Every other elf at Imladris, since we seem to be allowed to screw like minks. My dearest Morie, is there any favor I can return to you?"

"Nay, Lady Undomiel. I am on my way to an appointment with Figwit, and you have been inspiration enough for me."

The two ellith laughed and rolled their eyes. Figwit! Both held up delicate hands with thumb and forefinger only a short distance apart. The meaning of the gesture was clear as spring water.

Then Morie's face darkened. "You do realize, My Lady, how deep Firiel's affection for your father runs? I fear she will die if forced to leave him."

"I had not noticed, truly. But if you say so . . ."

"Would I lie to you, My Lady?" Morie asked and then sighed before Arwen had a chance to give her honest opinion. 'But perhaps you are right. Only time will tell."

She disappeared down the garden path with only a brief backward wave. Arwen was left alone to ponder. She had never given the courtesans of Imladris much thought -- where they had come from, what their lives were like, what the hell had ever possessed them to take up life in a collar. They had just always been there, making life more pleasant for the lords and ladies they served with their bodies and their laughter. She knew that Morie was pledged to return to her grandfather Celeborn at this exchange, after her fifteen year contract was up. Would such an arrangement be made for Firiel, she wondered? Or would the gentle elleth be forced away from her home and those she loved?

The thought made Arwen sad, and it was almost enough to make her forget her scheduled plans for a manicure that afternoon, as she rose and returned to the Homely House. Forced to suffer in Mirkwood? Although, to Arwen's mind the idea of a fifteen year vacation in Thranduil's realm being surrounded by hot Wood-elves sounded like a capital idea. Had she looked up at the moment, she might have seen a flash of silver in the windows of Elrond's study, quickly withdrawn as she approached.

She was met by her brothers in the courtyard. "Hey, Arwen -- we're sneaking out to spy on Glorfindel and Erestor on their afternoon 'walk.' Wink wink, nudge nudge. Wanna come with?"

Before Arwen could answer, a voice boomed from the inner hall. "Arwen! My study! NOW!"

"Woops, I meant to warn you. Adar is on a tear," said Elladan.

"Yup, he's got a real hair across his ass today," Elrohir chimed in.

Arwen merely sighed and went to face her father, wondering what she might have done this time to be called on the carpet. She found the Peredhel Lord seated at his desk, resplendent in a robe of sapphire silk from Mirkwood. Silk which was known to be the best in all of Ennor. (Buy some today, the quality is of the highest and the prices are very reasonable.) Vilya glinted brightly on his hand. "Arwen. Sit."

"Ada, I'm sorry," she stammered, for it had just come to her. "I borrowed your scented oil and didn't bother to put it back. I meant to, but the Elladan came in and took it off my nightstand and it slipped my mind completely."

"Well, that is interesting. I wondered where it went. But this is about something entirely different." Elrond's grey eyes were stern. "Lindir tells me he is unable to sing at dinner tonight because he is exhausted from your . . . activities last night."

Arwen smirked. She had no doubt Lindir was tired. She felt a bit sleep deprived herself today. She managed a contrite, "Sorry."

"Not so sorry as you will be, young lady! This unseemly fornicating your way through all the lords -- and the ladies -- of my court will have to cease!"

Arwen's face fell. She hadn't gotten around to Glorfindel yet. "But Ro and Dan are doing the same thing, and you cheer them on!"

"They're boys. It's different. Do you know nothing of the double standard, young lady?" Elrond scowled. "As it is, I have no idea what clueless schlemiel I will be able to find to wed you off to. Nay, as of today, your amorous activities will cease."

"Not even with Fianal? Or Morie?" Arwen whined.

"No. Nobody. You will keep your knees together, is that clear?" He thought about it for awhile, scowled in sudden understanding and continued, saying, "No sex of any kind. If I hear so much as a peep that you have been putting it about, I will slap you into a chastity belt and have Mithrandir talk one of those strange little Hobbit fellows he consorts with into taking the key to Mount Doom and dropping it in!"

"You wouldn't!"

"Do you want to risk it?"

Arwen stormed out of her father's study. Life was so unfair! It made her want to steal Glorfindel's horse and go galloping across the countryside -- which, come to think of it, was about the only kind of sex she'd be getting in the near future.

A voice trailed after her. "And no horses!"

After Arwen's grand exit, Morie came in from her hiding place on the balcony and collapsed to the rug in waves of helpless laughter. "Oh, My Lord! Her face! When you said you would...oh... oh dear."

Elrond joined her in laughter. "Yes, it's always hilarious threatening one's children. And now I know what happened to my oil."

Morie wiped the tears of merriment from her face. "Now, we begin stage two. But first I had better let poor Lindir know our plans so he does not spill the beans. He'll be heartbroken that he doesn't get to continue with his turn at her."

Elrond gestured to the door, "Lead on, my Queen of Whores!"

* * *


My thanks to:

Faithful Servant: For the support and the liquid refreshment.
White Lady: I took your advice and put some lesbians in this chapter. I like lesbians too!
Double Trouble: Yes, it does get better!
Aglarond13: Be patient! Some hot action will definitely be forthcoming when our spoilt Peredhel Princess gets to Mirkwood and learns that the Silvans are ellon, all ellon!

Chapter Four: Pains